Brewstew – Pet Butterfly


Alright, when I was a kid, I had a pet butterfly And I know that’s fucking weird, a butterfly?
Like, most people had dogs and cats or.. Even a fucking ferret, or something like that,
that’s not nearly as weird as a butterfly But I was a weird kid, alright? I listened to a lot of Smash Mouth at the time And I was wearing a lot of fuckin’
Hawaiian t-shirts, like somebody’s dad But in school they gave us
these caterpillars to take care of, which is stupid You know, you got a bunch of 9-year-olds,
that can barely wipe their ass the right way They’re gonna really
take care of something, aren’t they? “Yeah, it’s a living thing here, go ahead, go crazy!” But I was stoked, I was probably even
more stoked than my dad would’ve wanted me to be I didn’t give a shit “This fucking bug is gonna be living
in our house, Dad, alright?!” “He’s got his own cardboard box,
a little window, some twigs and shit” “It’s not like he’s fucking drinking
your beer out of the fridge, Dad, relax!” And I took care of that fucking thing, okay Not.. not like my tamagotchi, alright It wasn’t face-down in the dirt, dead,
surrounded by it’s own shit I took care of it way better,
than that fucking thing! And a couple weeks later, believe it or not,
it fucking metamorphosed into a little chrysalis I’m all pumped, I’m showing my family and shit “Oh, look the little guy’s in a cocoon” “IT’S A FUCKIN’ CHRYSALIS,
UNCLE RICK, NOT A GODDAMN COCOON!” “It’s not a moth, you dense bastard, Jesus Christ!” “Why don’t you go get another fucking
DUI, uncle Rick? Why don’t you do that?” “For your not-knowing-butterfly ass” And then finally, one morning
I woke up and I peered into that box And there it was, in all it’s glory Fucking Murphy the monarch butterfly! And to this day, I don’t think
I’ve ever been so excited in my life I’m like belting out Disney show tunes and shit [Singing]
“I can shhhoowww you the wooorrllddd!” “.. Shining, shivering splendorrrr..” I’m going to school the next day, telling my friends: “Hey! Hey, it turned into a butterfly,
did yours turn into a butterfly?” “Uhm.. what the fuck are you talking about?
Oh, the fucking caterpillar?” “No, my mom threw that in the garbage
like two weeks ago, what the fuck, you have yours still?” “Fuck yeah I have mine, are you kidding me?!” I’m hanging out with the butterfly all day I look like on the fucking cover
of a Lisa Frank folder, for Christ’s sake! And I love that stupid-ass buttefly We’d be, like, drinking Capri Suns And playing Mario Kart in my room I’d let it fly around the bathroom and shit And I’d get it to come back to me
by dipping a cotton ball in sugar water It’d come right back to me I was like the butterfly whisperer It’d be like: “OOohh I love this shit!
Sugar water, ma duud!” It was like the fucking alien in Men In Black “Sugar. Sugar with water” My dad would be, like, having beers with his friends “Oh, hey Ken, what..
What’s your kid doing over there?” *Laughs* “Well, he’s.. he’s.. he’s fucking
playing with his butterfly, alright?” “He’s got a pet butterfly,
who the fuck cares, Mike, alright?” “At least his teeth aren’t all fucked up like your kid’s” “Looking like he’s been chewing on bricks
his whole goddamn life” But then one day things went a little awry And this is the part of the story,
where things get a little sad So get your Kleenex boxes out I stayed the night at my buddy’s house And it was probably a standard nine-year-old night You know, filled with fucking trading Pokemon cards,
and talking about Pokemon cards And Pokemon cards and more fucking Pokemon cards! And I returned home And I went upstairs to my room And I noticed Murphy’s little fuckin’
butterfly condo is all smashed up and on my floor And then I noticed on my floor That there’s little bits of Murphy the monarch
butterfly scattered throughout my fucking room! Like somebody had a surprise birthday party
in my room the night before And they used 100% butterfly confetti And I’m totally devastated,
I have no idea, what the hell happened I’m like: “Holy shit! My butterfly would rather
blow itself up, than be my pet?” Then I look over to the corner of the room And my fuckin’ cat’s hanging out there And he’s got this look on his face, he’s, like,
smoking a cigarette, looking at me like: “Yeah, bitch! I fucking ripped that thing apart!” “I don’t need that shit in my life,
what the fuck are you gonna do about it?” I just had a flash of rage I could just picture him and my dad
having a celebratory drink “Yeah, looks like he’s gonna have to
start playing with normal shit now, isn’t he?” So I did what any nine-year-old
would do to punish a cat I STABBED IT IN THE FUCKING HEAD WITH A PITCHFORK! No, I fuckin.. I didn’t do that But I did put his ass under a laundry basket Put him in the laundry jail, like everybody..
Like everybody did, right? Everybody put their cat under a laundry basket (?) “YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, ASSHOLE,
YOU MURDERED MY FUCKIN’ BEST FRIEND!” “YOU SIT THERE AND YOU THINK ABOUT IT!” “YOU THINK ABOUT IT
UNTIL MY MOM HAS TO USE THIS LATER” “To wash my Stone Cold Steve Austin t-shirts” So here’s to Murphy, that stupid-ass butterfly,
who was my best friend for a solid couple of weeks “I’m sorry I was such a shitty owner” “And I’m sorry I had to leave you
and you turned into confetti” But I had to fucking go and trade Pokemon cards, alright? I had to get that holographic Alakazam And I don’t regret it, because I still have
that fucking holographic Alakazam, alright? You were gonna fuckin’ die anyways I know I was gonna wake up one morning
and you’d be all stiff and white Like a fucking dying ET on the bathroom floor And then what would I do? You’d be gone anyways,
so it’s a happy ending really, if you think about it https://brewstew.com

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100 Responses

  1. post malones says:

    You Dense Bastard

  2. Levi Cooks says:

    In te Arms of the angels

  3. Colby T says:

    I have a dame Hedgehog 🦔

  4. Specster Bester says:

    Fun fact I once saw a butterfly the size of a fucking 3 birds merged into one.

  5. Mar'Sean Brown says:

    Look at the cat

  6. Fyrverkeri og greier says:

    I had a ant for two days

  7. Nicholas DeMarco says:

    Rip Murphy
    -He’s with his friends now

  8. mmm that's good idk says:

    OMG what the fuck 😅

  9. Coolguy 298 says:

    Harry the moth and Murthy the butterfly

  10. Adam Skead says:

    I thought it was weird locking up a cat under a laundry basket

  11. Caden Ball says:

    To Murphy

  12. Sheldon J Plankton says:

    One of the best parts of this channel is the reoccurring jokes. The coffee filter, the Lisa Frank folder, the dirty little bastard joke, the 10 across the ass, all of them. Keep em coming, Tyler. You da man!

  13. doug says:

    i remember watching you when you only had 30k and I always hoped you'd get popular. I'm glad you found success

  14. Dan M says:

    R.I.p murphy the butterfly.

  15. Linda Johnston says:

    No no one cares about tamagotchis fuck tamagotchis there pieces of shit

  16. Mr. Medium Rare says:

    Me: oh finally a nice video about a beautiful butterfly…
    not even 10 seconds later
    Me:oohhhhhhh…..ok

  17. EERIE OREO says:

    The caterpie evolved

  18. Awesome A says:

    Blastoise is greater than or equal to Bill Clinton

  19. Mike Dowty says:

    1:06 to 1:22 that went from 0 to 1000

  20. Ethan Lutes says:

    One like equals one prayer for Murphy 😔

  21. Super Stap’s says:

    did you know the skin of a caterpillar gets harder and it digests itself? before hardening and turning into a butterfly. your welcome :>

  22. my boi pikachu says:

    I have a pet 🐌

  23. blanko says:

    you fuckin nonce

  24. Lois Hunter says:

    2:09 to 2:26

  25. The One And Only Dogmeat says:

    Its okay Tyler…it's okay

  26. Charlie Chicken says:

    how to punish a mean cat that killed your butterfly:
    step 1: grab it by its lower half (not by the legs, you would probably break one)
    step 2: carry it to your bed
    step 3: slam the cat on the bed
    step 4: but a laundry basket over it
    step 5: don't give the cat treats for the rest of the year

  27. Dino Rexy says:

    I’d beat the shit out of that cat!

  28. Pug - Stash says:

    Wait… so he’s not a cat person anymore?

  29. death row records says:

    I started dying when he used the fnaf 2 balloon boy laugh 2:31

  30. Futuristic Clickbait says:

    Where's the butterfly

    Aisle 12-b

  31. Løcal Dreemur says:

    The ballon boy life always kills me

  32. fefe gaming the 3rd says:

    Yes I did

  33. Kitty Klevansky says:

    3:04. Made me laugh so hard

  34. AntonPlayz says:

    I'm not even kidding I would have killed that cat 💀

  35. Reply to me if you’re gay says:

    This is the new grade a under a

  36. Pottie_ Taque says:

    I had a pet fly..we all had almost

  37. Moon Neptune72 says:

    Lol just like James with his moth it got murdered by an animal. Also Harry the moth x that butterfly

  38. Eduardo Garcia says:

    Fight the cat

  39. Dark-Eyes Dragon says:

    I had to do that butterfly thing but it was sad to let him go as a butterfly

  40. Dudles says:

    Rip Murphy
    Monarchs actually live like 6 months

  41. Cayden Lam says:

    If your Butterfly flys out of your Duplex, well won’t you be mad huh

  42. Amanda Vidal says:

    murphy will be missed 😔

  43. Senji Ken Kryomasa says:

    “It’s not moth you dense bastred Jesus crust why don’t you get another dui With you’re not knowing butterfly a$$”.

  44. Logan Geoseph says:

    he should have put the cat i water

  45. Jordan Mcginness says:

    Jordan 10

  46. Patricia Ayres says:

    I was a Tamagotchi MASTER, my Tamagotchi got to the oldest level and died of old age, not like you losers who made yours die of it’s own poo poisoning

  47. Orange Skittle says:

    Tortinos tortinos hot pizza rolls tortinos tortinos everyones talking bout

  48. Nayeli Lopez says:

    You should of put cat in water for very long

  49. Raf Thomas says:

    This is the best YouTube channel and funniest YouTube channel in the world

  50. Arthur Fleck says:

    Fnaf balloon boy laugh

  51. Mobile Gamer123 says:

    Weirdo Pet butterfly

  52. dragon_ball_ballkan says:

    2:33 lets see who know whos laugh was?

  53. Chicken EEK says:

    When I was a kid found a caterpillar so kept feeding it and became butteryfly before I let it fly away took it a picture then bye bye 😭😭😭😭

  54. Johnny Joestar says:

    The butterfly pet thing must be a midwest thing

  55. DRILLIN says:

    That cat would be living outside from then on

  56. MrTumbleweed says:

    Rip murphy

  57. Mantas Krisciunas says:

    My classmate in second grade had a Butterfly And it lived for a year…
    A FUCKING YEAR

  58. Juliana Ellsworth says:

    Laundry jail is still an appropriate punishment for asshole cats

  59. Dario says:

    Top 5 saddest anime deaths

  60. Starboy 785 says:

    I had a pet butterfly 🦋 too it died in 2 days

  61. Caleb kirk says:

    one like equels one prayer for murphy

  62. Miguel Navarro says:

    😠

  63. Ebony Hicks says:

    This has got to be my favorite Brewstew video 😂 between the love for a bug and the rage he had against anyone who opposed their relationship this clip is A + But damn that cat tho 😂😂😂

  64. Robbie Huttel says:

    I don’t need that shit in my life! Lmao

  65. PrincessCelestia19 says:

    "With your not knowin butterfly ass" 😂

  66. Twitch twitch187 says:

    if my teacher gave up a caterpillar my friend would fucking cut that shit up and id be like wtf is the matter with u!!!

  67. da gaming guy says:

    i litterally just watched men in black and then i found this video

  68. Band Geek says:

    I hate pokemon but I sure would like to have the Tylermon card

  69. Nature guy says:

    Lmfao

  70. Zatsune Miku says:

    3:05 I WANT THAT CARD

  71. Anna's awesomely awesome puppy live says:

    I will take the tamagotchi pls

  72. Anna's awesomely awesome puppy live says:

    He is with Harry the moth

  73. Ethan says:

    😭😭😭

  74. Ariel Arroyo says:

    You should of put the cat in some water

  75. Brody’s got em Again says:

    I have

  76. xXSpruceduckXx _ says:

    Omg I died when he got home

  77. John Clough says:

    To a nine year old your pet caterpillar becoming a butterfly is proof that your a good Pokémon trainer

  78. Mykiea Mcafee says:

    I’m about to go get high , fuck it

  79. Jim Gibbs says:

    rest in peace Brewstes pet Butterfree

  80. Kiiskinen says:

    I got fly xD

  81. Error :0 says:

    My butterfly phobia is going through the roof

  82. Michał Ryciak says:

    james:moth
    brewstew:butterfly

  83. Ebony Hicks says:

    It's a fucking chrysalis uncle Rick not a got damn cocoon it's not a moth you densed bastard… why dont you go get another fucking DUI uncle Rick why dont you go do that? YOUR NOT-KNOWING BUTTERFLY ASS LMFAOOO this always cheers me up 😂

  84. Xaranar says:

    I would have been so stoked if I had a caterpillar that actually metamorphosed in my care. I don't blame you for feeling an intense rage at his death.

  85. Taco phone Lab says:

    Motherfucking cat give Tiffany to another person

  86. Cade Breeland Walden says:

    Rip Murphy

  87. AndroidFan91 says:

    0:59 What? Caterpie is evolving!

    Congratulations! Your Caterpie evolved into Metapod!

  88. Ha To says:

    2:33 ballon boy laugh

  89. Cesar Chicas says:

    I have a pet chicken named pepperoni

  90. Andrew Bannerman says:

    Why does this video make me want to take catipplers and shove them in a box full of leaves and train them so if i spill suger water on someone they will be attacked by a army of all my four butterflys.

  91. William Afton says:

    I laugh when the butter fly died

  92. Cletus YeetusFetus says:

    I have a personal vendetta against your 1999 cat now

  93. masu11 says:

    Yur farret drawings r better than mine

  94. Angelina Albano says:

    Hahaha holy shit dude, this video is unbelievably hilarious and I feel like such an asshole for laughing at what happened to your pet butterfly. But yeah, I took such great care of my little Tamagotchi thingy, hahaha but yeah eventually, it ended up dying. What's crazy though is (And I know that nobody would ever believe me if I told them but fuck it, I'm going to tell the to put it there anyway. But yeah
    I had that thing for I bullshit you not, like 7 or 8 years. It was crazy and I was completely astonished that the fucking thing lasted that fucking long, hahaha. This is freaking insane dude. But yeah, again, I really can't believe that my little Tamagotchi lasted that long. But back they actually made shit to try to last as long as possible. But nowadays, they make shit to last only about a year or two and it's pretty fucked up that you are basically forced to buy new ones of whatever product because it always, without fail, ends up breaking on you.

  95. Angelina Albano says:

    Hahaha, I'm pretty sure that Salena Gomez said it in Wizards of Waverly Place but yeah, she said that she hates butterflies because they fly like they're broken. Hahaha and yeah, if you ever watch them fly, they kind of do, hahaha. But yeah, monarch butterflies and blue morphie butterflies are my absolute favorite, they're just so freaking beautiful. Yeah, bit of a joke here but I bet that the blue morphie butterflies are the beauty guru's favorite butterflies as well, hahaha because they're always collabing with the company Morphie for their makeup lines and shit.

  96. Angelina Albano says:

    Hahaha awwwww, that's so sad. "Holy shit, my butterfly would rather blow itself up then be my friend???" Awwww, that's a shame but it was pretty funny. I feel bad for laughing but like I said, it was funny as hell. And by the way, that cat would have gotten an ass beaten from me for killing my best friend dude, I'm telling you. Naw, I'm just kidding but I definitely would be extremely pissed off at especially because cats know how to piss us off and they just don't care. But yeah, I'm sorry that happened to your poor little friend. Awwwww, rest in peace, Murphy the monarch butterfly.

  97. Archer Griffiths says:

    lol

  98. GreenGiant says:

    Thats one of million reasons why cats are pricks.

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