“Meet Little Ugly Jeff” | Controlled Chaos | JEFF DUNHAM


– Well, Peanut, it’s about
time to end the evening. – No, wait!
– What? – I’ve got one more thing to do. – No, the show’s about over. – No, it’s not, I got one more thing. – What? – [Peanut] Okay, look.
Just trust me on this. I have a new hobby. – A new hobby? – Yes – What is it? – I am now a ventriloquist, too. (Crowd laughing) – No, you’re not. – Yes, I am. (Crowd laughing) – That was pretty good. – I know. Compared to me, you suck. (crowd laughing) Really, let me show you how it’s done. – Well, you need a dummy. – He’s in the box. – You have a dummy? – [José] Over here, señor. (crowd laughing) – He’s in the box? – Yep, right next to José. – Can I get him out?
– Yep – [José] Don’t touch my stick. (crowd laughing) – Careful! – What? – [Whispering] He’s really ugly. (crowd laughing) – [José] He’s ugly, señor. – He is nasty-looking. – [José] He’s so scary, I wet my stick. (crowd laughing) – But he’s right here? – He’s the only other guy
in there. Check it out. Look, look, look, look, look. – Alright, let’s see this. Here we go. (crowd laughing) (crowd cheering) – I thought you said he was ugly? – He is! – He looks a little like me. – No… he looks a lot like you! – This isn’t funny. – Then why is everyone else laughing? – [José] I laugh too, señor. I laugh so hard I crack my stick. – You know how to work this?
– Of course I do. – You know there’s a
little lever down there. – I know. – You grab onto the lever-
– I know – And you pull on-
– I know – Now, do you have ahold of the lever? – He’s got ahold of something. – See, I can do this too! – Fantastic – How are you, little, ugly Jeff? – Not good. – Wait, wait a minute. You’re gonna call him “Ugly Jeff”? – Oh, no no no no no. Little Ugly Jeff. – Is there any other name? – Uh, Little Ugly (Bleep) Jeff? – I like that. – [José] Me too, señor. – Thank you
– You’re welcome. – Wait a minute. – I would prefer you didn’t
use the word (bleep). – Oh, I didn’t really. It’s all one word. Little Ugly (bleep)-Jeff – (bleep)-Jeff (bleep)-Jeff.
I am (bleep)-Jeff. – See, it’s good. – [José] Bravo
– Gracias – De nada. – This is ridiculous. (crowd cheering) – So, how are you Little,
Ugly (bleep) Jeff? – I’m sad, handsome Peanut. – Wait, wait a minute. – Handsome Peanut? – Yes, Peanut is very handsome. Unlike you ugly (bleep) Jeff. – He is me!
– Good point. I hate my ugly (bleep) self. – All right – He said he was sad. – I heard him. – Why are you sad (bleep) Jeff? – Because I’m a loser. – Yeah, that is sad. – [Jose] And he’s ugly. – And I’m ugly – Thank you
– [Jose] It’s okay – Will you stop this? – That’s a shame little,
ugly (bleep) Jeff. – I have no idea how I
made it this far in life. – Me, neither. – [Jose] No one does.
– I suck. – All right. – Maybe you can make
up for your loser-ness by having a good personality. – No
– Doubtful – [Jose] No way
– I’m sorry – Me, too. – Okay, look. (crowd cheering) – You guys really think this is funny? – Oh, yes.
– [Jose] Si – Definitely
– The truth hurts. – Okay – I’ll tell you what, Peanut. You think that’s funny? I have something here
that you’re gonna like. – What?
– Just trust me. You’re gonna love this. (crowd cheering) – What the (bleep) is that? – Hi, look at me. I’m a little idiot. Ha ha ha ha. – That is not funny! – Yes it is
– No it’s not. – I think it is.
– [Jose] Me too. – LOL
– Shut up. – You guys have been awesome. Thank you. Good night. (Crowd cheering) – That a first name, or something you take
medicine to get rid of? – Where I am from the game
we teach our children is when someone says “knock, knock” you shut the (bleep) up and hide. – Excuse me, but do these guys
get together in the morning and decide who speaks English? – The worst – Who the Hell is that? – Hello, Father.

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