We don’t seem to have
any training videos about not discussing
abortion at work, because we just thought
it was so obvious, but you guys managed
to surprise us, so good job. – Whoo!
– Don’t lecture us on being responsible
when we all know what you did to Sandra. – Sandra–who’s Sandra? [all gasp]
– What? – Who’s Sandra? Just the woman who’s pregnant
with your bi-racial child. – In his defense, Sandra is
extremely forgettable. Remember when we left her at
Dave & Buster’s on her birthday? all: Yeah.
– I’m not pregnant. – What?
[all gasp] – Oh, God, am I too late?
– What? – I’m very confused. – Wait, so you didn’t
knock her up? – No, I’m gay.
[all gasp] – Oh, yeah, right, you’re gay,
and I’m Lorenzo Lamas. – Well, I am.
I’m gay. – But you’re so…blah. – Well, wait,
then who’s dating Sandra? – I made it up.
[all gasp] I haven’t been dating anyone. – I mean, nothing here
pops at all. – Why would you make
something like that up? – ‘Cause she’s a maniac. – At first it was
a misunderstanding, and then I just started
liking the attention. – For the first time in my life,
I was a star. – I’m the one
who’s been dating Jeff. [all gasp]
Okay, the whole time– me-me-me-me-me.
– Um… We were keeping that between us. – I just don’t get it. If you can be gay,
that means anyone can be gay. – Okay, well, you know,
cat’s out of the bag. Me and Jeff.
[giggles] Does anybody have any questions? – Can we please keep this
in this room? I’m not supposed to be dating
anybody from one of the stores. – But casual sex is okay, right? ‘Cause I’ve been banging Garrett
on and off for a while now. [all gasp]
– What? – Uh, that is correct. – Whoa!
– Really? – And you–you didn’t tell me? – I’m sorry, it just–
we haven’t told anybody. – It’s fine, I don’t–
I don’t care. – What has happened
to this store? – Me.
I happened. This is me.
This is my fault. I opened the cage,
or whatever. I’ve never seen “Jurassic Park.” [all gasp]
– What? – Okay, that is not what we’re
dealing with right now. Look, I should not have
gotten involved. Sandra, I’m really sorry. – No, I feel great. No more lies.
No more credit card debt from buying myself flowers. I can cancel
the horse-drawn carriage. – I almost told you
a couple times. – I said it’s fine.